Went for secondary school choirs SYF today. Listened to one whole day of White Horses. Some horses galloped too fast. Some horses died. But most horses were quite nice and I think that song is very nice. I can almost memorise the song already after hearing it so many times. Fell asleep during the evening performances (last few choirs) because I heard enough of White Horses already. I wonder how the judges can tahan 4 days worth of horses.

Anyway, my main purpose of going Victoria Concert Hall to listen to the choirs is to hear VS. They were quite good on stage. There was the determination to win. Mundi Renovatio was very steady and the essence of the song could be brought out. Quite astonished because I thought they would rush that song. Although there were quite a few mistakes here and there (tsk tsk never practise hard enough), I think they still deserve the Gold with Honours that they got. Right after they performed, I knew it was clearly a GWH standard, though it was not a high one. VSchoir, thanks for bringing back the Gold with Honours that we were supposed to get all along. I think it was a great showing at VCH today. Congratulations and all the best for your Penang trip in July!

Hmm ok I'm quite sick now. I think I don't have enough rest. I think I'm going off to sleep already.

Stupid stupid stupid! I am not living life like how I should. I don't get appreciated. I feel like I am better off with nothing around me. No burden whatsoever.

You know, whatever I do for the choir is wrong. I must set aside time for small groups practice during camp, but I can't because people complain of too little time to practise; I cannot give them more time because we still need to do other songs. I cannot put Sop 1s and Sop 2s together for Fyer Fyer practice because they will get confused with each other's notes, yet I cannot split them apart because they 'cannot hear each other'. It's like Catch-22. You are given 2 choices A and B, but you cannot do A. Neither can you do B. So whatever you do, you're wrong. People do not care whether you're choosing the Lesser of Two Evils, as long as it is Evil, it is wrong. And you get blamed for it.

Why am I working so hard for the choir? What rewards am I going to get? People choose to continue working even if they have no passion for their jobs because of money. I don't get money for working so hard for the choir. I don't get anything at all. What I get are complaints and arguments. So what's the point?

Worst of all, I get no support from the committee. Or should I say, negative support (I can't find a word to replace that). People dislike me for the way I do things. But what I have done have worked for the choir, right? It's not as if what I've done are all wrong. Why is it that you expect me to accommodate to you all when you all did not put in as much effort as I do? You all don't need to put in more effort than me - I'm the SC anyway and it's right for me to put in the most effort. Why don't you all put yourselves in my shoes instead? What do I need most? Understanding. Cooperation. Effort. Why don't you all do the work all by yourselves? Do you really think it's so easy?

I feel that there's really no point for me to be so hardworking for the choir. But I have to. I have no passion for the choir and I am just doing all these because of responsibilities. I don't get rewarded nor appreciated, nor do I get any help from the people around. It's just plain stupid.

SYF in 5 weeks
SOV in 6 weeks

Time is so tight.

I think it's time for me to update my blog... at least.

My Common Tests are over! But that was over a week ago. The last 2 papers Mathematics and Chemistry weren't too difficult because I studied for them. I think my CT1 results should be something like EAAA-E (the last one is for GP), something like last year's promos. But if I am not so lucky then probably the E's will become S's. But I think my A's will score higher than last year's.

Last last friday was VOG (VJC's Very Own Games). I could not be bothered so I slacked all the way. Saturday was choir practice and choir BBQ. I was so surprised when my angel revealed herself! No lah, I already knew who she (Kelly) was so it was not very fun.

Had to come up with the practice schedule for the camp, during the last weekend. I also dunno why I took so long to come up with the schedule. Had the camp on Monday and Tuesday. It was fun, thanks to the Games Committees and Exco, but the practices were very rushed. Wednesday was the only free day for me so far. Tried to mug but failed :(. Must be post-exam mood.

Had choir workshop on Thursday and Friday. I think we benefited much from both days... On Thursday, the clinician (Mr Mark Anthony Carpio) cleaned up the little little details that we missed out during our practices. On Friday, we performed on stage. I think it was a good experience for us because we could now tell our weaknesses on stage and can think of ways to overcome them.

We were also busy with Horny Night preparations from Thursday to Saturday. Tenors won again, haha. There was not much competition so after the other sections have performed, we already knew that we were going to win. And we did!

Sigh ok school's reopening tmr. Luckily there is no homework for us this holidays. I think I better start mugging my lecture notes now because I haven't been paying attention last term. I'll update again when I'm free... which is probably a few weeks later.

Went to watch VSchoir's practice yesterday, after having only 2 hours of sleep. Played soccer with them in the morning for their Physical Training. After my blunder to concede an early goal, we still managed to fight back to win the game at 5-1... amazing. I felt a bit out of place actually. I somehow lost the team spirit yesterday unlike a couple of years ago when I was still in VSchoir. Maybe I am too old already, haha.

When I stepped into the choir room, the members were all sitting down waiting for practice to start and I heard (or thought that I heard) them whispering my name and hushing each other. Maybe they are still scared of me, or maybe I am wrong, but that thought almost made me laugh. I remembered how I used to take the choir last time... many juniors were scared of me because of the way I exert authority (kinda familiar right?). And seeing them attend sectionals - the sian face while the SLs try to configure certain parts of the songs, it just relived old memories.

After their practice, the lao-laos plus a few other juniors went for lunch, and after that, the really lao-laos (Justin, Pock Thong and me) went to the library for a while first before going Robin's house. I borrowed a few Contract Bridge books with Justin's card (thank you) and went to Robin's house to read, instead of studying my Chemistry which I intended to do. I thought the library won't have anything on Contract Bridge but I was lucky to find a section with a few Bridge books, so I 'koped' all the books there haha. Yeah but I fell asleep on the couch after reading a few pages because I was so tired.

Oh yeah thanks to Hong Aik, I think my mind is full of Bridge. Oh I haven't explained why I slept for only 2 hours - because I was playing Bridge online and Hong Aik is watching me play, trying to scare me by telling me about how unfavourable (to me) the opponents' cards lie. So for that 2 hours of sleep I actually dreamt of playing bridge (how awful is that, playing bridge in your sleep!) and during soccer I was thinking of bridge terms like "Oh dear, the way he runs make him lose a tempo" or "He should hold up his play" or "His opponents are squeezing him" or "Throw-in play" or "He is being endplayed at the corner"!! Sigh, thanks Hong Aik... thanks.

Hmm tomorrow is the release of 'O' level results. All the best to all the juniors! Yeah make the right choice, choose VJC. And hope that your results warrant you a place in our school so that I can bully you. And to the younger juniors (sec 4s and below), you should go witness the release of results. You will see a dozen different emotions and especially to the new sec 4s, it will probably motivate you to study! Haha.

I think I should start reorganising the links on my blog already, some are outdated, and I was just too lazy to link some people. And if you have not noticed yet, there's a Feedjit Live thing on my blog (below the archives) which tracks who comes to my blog and via what link. There's one person who came to my blog after searching Google for "diminishing marginal returns of ipods". Wow, to think that my Economics essay managed to make such a great impact. Haha.

Wah tomorrow is the start of school already. This also means that I won't be able to slack like now until towards the end of the year. I will probably be engaged in academics, choir, bridge (I will try to allocate time for CJC competition), bullying juni- ergh... nothing!

Performed yesterday for some World Youth Choir Festival concert. And it was like my first time hitting the drum correctly for the last part of Leonardo Dreams of His Flying Machine. I think I did well for the percussion part considering that I had little practice and I only chiong through the whole thing the previous night at home. The performance was quite boring I would say, because we could not watch other choirs perform. And there were quite a few people watching only, I guess it was around 60% filled only.

Ok after today I guess I will be freer because there will almost be no choir practice. I can finally start studying already... something that I have been putting off since last month.

Wow yesterday was my first caroling session in my life. Went to Tangs to sing for 2 sessions of half an hour each. Ok I did not actually sing, but conducted one of the groups. And the guy was very funny because he Tangs us for coming on behalf of Tangs.

The first session was quite bad actually. But I suppose it was because of the acoustics. The place was quite dry and I think everyone sang until very tired. But the ground floor (2nd session) was quite good because we performed near the entrance, and the acoustics was quite wow. Like the first chord came out from my group and I got shocked by its fullness. My group made some minor mistakes here and there but I guess it's ok, because caroling is meant to have fun! So we can all work on our mistakes and prevent ourselves from embarrassment next time.

You know I love reading people's blog. I seldom know who to talk to online because the conversations may just end up stagnant after a while. So when I read people's blog, it's like me asking them, "Hey, how are you doing?" and they will give their replies through their blogs.

Going to crash VSchoir's camp tomorrow...

This is my fifth post since about a month ago, but it is the first post which I am (intending to) put some effort in writing. The last four posts are, for your information, posts which I type for the sake of typing, for the sake of updating my blog, for the sake of not letting my blog die.

I cannot guarantee that I will update my blog like this from now on. Perhaps after typing this post I may leave it even more outdated. If I could I would update like this, of course. But laziness is a factor. Time is another factor.

Laziness has always been a limiting factor for me. I know very well I can stretch my potential further, but you know actions speak louder than words. I never seem to be meeting my own expectations when it comes to being hardworking. You know like how they grade your Project Work, from best to worst: Exceeding Expectations, Meeting Expectations, Approaching Expectations, Nil. I'm somewhere between AE and nil.

I wonder why people use "actions speak louder than words". Of course I am no exception, because I can't find a shorter and a more powerful string of words to use. This idiom in itself is powerful in argument, but literally, it is meaningless. Actions speak louder than words, but it does not mean that the softer party always loses. The loud one shows that he is confident of what he is saying, confident that he is correct. Being soft does not mean that he is not confident, he probably has already given up trying to argue back with the loud one, the adamant yet stupid one.

"Time is not just a magazine". It was said by a senior. Upon entering a Junior College, it just dawned on me that this is really true. Time is so precious that no money can buy. Every minute is precious. You will get a scolding from the Principal for being in the hall at 7.42am when you have to gather at 7.40am. But on a more serious note, time seems tighter the older I get. I did not really see the problem of time constraints last time. Teachers seemed to finish their lessons on time and did not rush for time. But things here are different now. You have lecturers rushing through 20 pages of lecture notes within 1 hour, and not even being able to finish the lecture. The lecturer's name is not important, so let us call him 'Mr Chang'.

Once I was waiting outside the chemistry laboratories for my practical session. While waiting I took a look at the notice boards just outside the laboratories. I noticed that the whole year's lectures timetable was printed out already. And just a side note, we were quite behind time for the chemistry lectures. From there I noticed how tight time was. There was almost no more buffer weeks that they could afford. That means do or die, the lecturers have to complete their lectures by a stipulated week. That explained why Mr Chang was rushing through the last part of his lecture. I never had this problem in Victoria School, when the teachers seem so free in their schedule. Now, every minute is so important, there is absolutely no time to waste.

Because of that, whatever I do requires a schedule to follow, a timetable, a structure. Of course the timetables I come up with do not work on me. Take today for example. I planned to finish chemistry and mathematics tutorials, assignments for the latter, finish studying chemistry to prepare for this coming week's lecture test, read General Paper article and do some Physics. But so far I have only done mathematics and studied for chemistry lecture test. This proves my point exactly - time is so tight that I got to finish all these by this weekend, but my laziness got over me.

I am not really sure if it is VS or VJ which has taught me to be more structured, but my guess is the latter. VS (and its geography elective) has taught me to bullshit, like what I have been doing so far. VJ has taught me to bullshit while following a format. Education certainly has something to progress from! Notice that this post is quite structured. First two paragraphs introduce why I have not been updating and give two reasons. The next two paragraphs talk about the first reason - laziness (actually paragraph four is bullshit if you have not noticed) and the next two is about time. Then the discussion shifts to being structured. I have no idea how the rest of this post will be about, where it will lead me to, where it will end, etc.

Being structured is not easy. Firstly, you have to know everything that needs to be said/done. If you are really smart then you do not need to write them down, but if you cannot process everything in your mind then you should jot down these things. After that then can you start arranging the points into a certain format to follow. It seems easy, but it is not. Some things are not like science where you can just 'know everything' and just jot them down. Also, arranging these points into something logical and something which flows is no mean feat too.

In case you are wondering, I was actually referring to something I had done for VS choir. I planned early this year to talk to the new committee. Talk about what? Choir stuffs of course, but the topic is so broad that I did not know where to start from. But by forcing myself to find an area to talk about, I have gradually built up the skill to be able to be structured, a skill which will remain with me for the rest of my life. By the way I have lost an interest to talk to them, mainly because of two reasons: lack of time (no, not because I am lazy now), and because I feel that the new committee should be able to manage on their own.

Being structured has its downsides as well. You become too inflexible in the things you do. You do not take into account human nature. You become too involved in the schedule you have to follow. This will lead to criticisms to your actions especially if you hold a high post in a particular co-curricular activity, and especially when that CCA has members who are leaders in themselves. Issues need to be brought up, discussions need to be made and time and effort need to be spent (read: lack of time and laziness).

The solution? To strike a balance, so that people will not argue with you. You cannot be too structured, yet cannot be too flexible (otherwise you do no productive work). It seems easy, but if you think you have struck the balance, do think again. Are you feeding the baby on the nose? Are you sure you have struck the balance? You cannot feed the baby with food too high in nutritional value (being too structured) because it will not eat too high quality food. The other side is the same. You have to add some garnish to make it look appetizing, and a bit of salt and pepper to make it taste nice. In this context, you have to know exactly what you are doing, by memorising the whole schedule in your head and not just follow it blindly or not even following it at all, then use the schedule to suit to people's needs. Being structured is level two, level three is knowing how to strike the balance.

These levels increase with increasing level of maturity, and longer time of course. So let M be the level of maturity and T be the length of time. So the equation M = kT is set up, where k is a constant. The constant varies from person to person. Some people have a small k, which means that they take longer to become more matured. Some people do not even fit into this equation, their level of maturity against time goes like a logarithm curve, like M = p lg(T), where p is another constant. For those who cannot visualise or are lazy to take out a calculator, the curve shows a decreasing rate of increase in maturity with respect to time. Although the curve has no horizontal asymptotes (the level of maturity has no limit), it takes even longer to achieve a even higher level of maturity. Just like in Maple Story or even other role-playing games, the higher your level, the longer it takes to level up.

Take note that the level of arrogance has no relationship with the level of maturity. Some may argue that arrogance will directly influence the level of maturity because if you are arrogant, you do not know the right from wrong and hence your level of maturity decreases. The fact is that there is no direct way of measuring maturity. My definition is that maturity is how open-minded a person is and it does not decrease under normal circumstances (except in accidents or illnesses). But the level of arrogance can float at any point in time. Once you become mature, you show off to the world, only to be neglected and rejected by the world. You start to realise it, and your maturity increases while your arrogance decreases, both being good news of course. Then the cycle repeats and your arrogance level looks like a sin curve. Some people may determine from this post (or in fact, from me) that I am arrogant. I take it as a compliment because it shows that I am more matured than before. For those who are really serious that I am arrogant, ok I am sorry, but I will try to change.

This is the result of the education I am receiving now. I can describe it in one short sentence: it is driving me up the wall! It causes some mild head damage which leads one to blog in such a manner. And if you had lasted all the way here honestly (and correctly, by reading through all the bullshits and not just scrolling down in under two seconds), I congratulate you, and I hereby propose you a job which you may have some future in: marker of geography examination papers. I have no time now, I need to go sleep already.

"Time is not just a magazine."

It's a Sunday morning and I woke up at 5.30am. Isn't it AMAZING (Mr Chang's voice)! Anyway UK trip! I'm lazy to type so I guess I'll just upload some pictures.

Day 1 (6th July) - 2
Set off from Changi Airport T3 (my first time there!) to Manchester for Eisteddfod in Llangollen (my first time out of Asia too!). Slept for very long on the plane... I managed to spend my entire time on the plane without watching a single movie. The temperature there was not like the summer that I know, the weather was some 10+ degrees celsius which was like a typical winter day in Hong Kong.

England was really beautiful. Because we arrived in the early morning in Manchester, we took a day tour.

Leeds - Royal Armouries Museum and the Leeds Parish Church

Trafford - Some shopping centre and Old Trafford Stadium (it's the best shot I could take)

We ended the day in Britannia Hotel, realising that the sky was still very bright at 8.30pm.

Day 3
Basically the whole day was spent in Chester (we did go to Llangollen to register but the choir had to stay in the bus) and moving into an inn which we had to stay for the following few nights.

Just fooling around in the toilet.

Chirp! Actually they don't make any sounds.

Team Read, found outside the Chester Library. Pronounced as Team 'Red' not 'Reed'.

Bridge of Sighs

8.30pm outside our inn

Day 4
Opening Ceremony. Just random shots of people so I won't upload them here. We performed 2 Filipino songs, Katakataka and Dum Belle, and the audience went wild (ok maybe not to that extent) after the emcee explained that Dum Belle meant 'Rain Chant'. It rained pretty much there. Oh I received a compliment from a member from a Filipino choir the next day.

Day 5
Competition for Youth category. But before I write about it...
Notice anything odd about this picture? There are no guys there haha. Ok actually other than me there was Mr Kwei and Gabriel (Mr Cheow) too. I had to be there because Mr Kwei wanted me to practise with the girls on the bus before the competition. Now this is one picture I am going to bring with me to my grave... just kidding, I won't do that.

The festival ground.
Okay our competition went very smoothly. Got our category champions easily because we won the second-place choir by 10+ marks, so it was very clear that we were the champions. It was one of the best that we gave, our tempo was steady, everyone was calm, the feeling was there, all was right.

Bored. From top left, 1, 2, 5, 10, 20 and 50 pence, 1 and 2 pounds.

Bah!

Neigh... is it? I can't tell what animal they were already!

There were some cows on the way actually. But every time I tried to take a picture, the cows disappear out of sight already. So I use this instead...
Moo! Just kidding. He's our tour leader, Gabriel (Mr Cheow).

Day 6
Competition for Folk and Mixed categories.
Our folk category I thought was rather good. We stayed in pitch anyway, perhaps our songs were not powerful enough and we lacked choreography. I guess we don't actually deserve a fourth in placing.

The best meal that the festival ground provided. Ok it was really good actually haha, the only meal which was both filling and appetizing enough.

Our performance for mixed category was the worst among the 3 categories that we competed in. We just could not maintain our cool on stage and screwed up. Everyone had the desire to win the category so we could at least compete in the grand finals but we just could not handle the pressure on us. I think this is a lesson for all of us choir members to learn, a failure for all of us to accept and a consequence for all of us to face. Third for this category. I haven't listened to the top 2 choirs yet, will listen later.

6.30am and the sun had risen already.

Llangollen.

Day 7
No grand finals to compete in. Went out to Liverpool instead.

Liverpool is so crowded. It's like an Orchard Road (just look at the background of the 3rd picture). Oh the 4th picture is the town hall I think.

Day 8
Spent our morning in Stratford-upon-Avon, the birthplace of Shakespeare.
Quack!

Then to Oxford in the afternoon. Frankly speaking I don't really like that place.
My house.

I stole the little kid's ice cream.

Street performer

Another one. That's Chan Wei in the foreground.

After Stratford we travelled to London. Heard about all the stabbings and bombings or whatever just before we reached there.


Admiral Nelson

Went on a night tour in London with Mr Kwei. Only for those taking Chinese because we had to return to Singapore a couple of days earlier. Hmm that night a few of us gathered in Abel's and my room to discuss about the London tour for the following day...

Day 9
Free and easy in London, but only from morning until 2pm.
I'm lazy to add captions because I am very inclined to end this post. But anyway, I don't really like London too, but it was not as bad as Oxford. It had more things to see than Oxford. So I think I just prefered the outskirts than the urban areas. Oh yeah I must say that the underground tubes travel much faster than Singapore's MRT, so fast until when the train appeared, there will be a super strong gust of wind that blows from the tunnel. No wonder the platform is usually dust-free.

People usually ask me how the trip was. I will tell them about the trip itself rather than the competition. Maybe I just don't want to remember about the competition, but I think the sight of England was too wonderful for me not to comment about it first.




Alright. Back to Singapore already. Gotta catch up on my studies. And gotta work harder for choir!